Pre-Arc Strips - David Vs. DND


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David Vs. DND

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View Transcript David: Hokay, let's do this thang.
"In the city of Neverwinter, a dwarf named Gundren Rockseeker asked you to bring a wagonload of provisions to the rough and tumble settlement of Phadalin, a couple of days' travel to the southeast of the city..."

David: Blah de blah de blah "something big" blah de blah de blah Barthen's Provisions some kinda trading post or some shit blah de blah de blah de blah Sildar Hallwindter blah blah blah High Road blah blah blah Triboar trail blah de bla bloo...

David: (OK here we go...)
"You've been on the Triboar Trail for about half a day. As you come around a bend, you spot two dead horses sprawled about fifty feet ahead of you. Each has several black feathered arrows sticking out of it."

Grace: Karoniss Greatlegs moves closer to inspect the corpses.
David: You are ambushed by four goblins.

[David scoots back in his chair and reconsiders his life choices that led him to this point]

Bob: ...You still don't know how to play this, don't you?
David: Hold on lemme check the beastiary...

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Author Notes

1/28/2022, 9:54 AM I've never played a proper game of DND, so I legit don't actually know how it all works. That being said the scenario that David's DMming was taken word-for-word from the 5E starter kit.


2/16/2022, 11:03 AM Yeah, you know a D&D campaign is not going to go well when your DM is saying, "Blah de blah de blah," when introducing the story. And I don't even play D&D.
4/22/2022, 4:30 PM DUDE THIS WAS LITERALLY ME. I got my younger brother this exact same starter kit adventure for his birthday, and tried to DM a session. It was a mess. I was sure to read all the material beforehand, but not only did exactly THIS happen every turn anyway, we ended up having to replay the goblin fight because the first time around I completely misunderstood how the combat was supposed to work X’D We haven’t played it since. Best 20$ I ever spent.
4/22/2022, 8:17 PM Aww, that's actually really sweet. And at least you tried, I still really haven't.
6/17/2022, 12:41 PM I've never played D&D, but I can imagine that this is what many amateur DMs do in real life, lol.
6/17/2022, 6:42 PM tbh you're probably right